Today's guest star is the editor in chief of Car Magnum magazine as well as an all around modern day genius of a young man. Without further ado, I present to you Mr. Reilly Brennan.
It should be noted that the idea for this column is basically a modern day take off (rip off) on a column which appeared in Automobile magazine in the 1980s, written by my mentor DEDjr., or the man who once spent an entire lunch hammering on about “the inadvisability of sleeping with women who threaten to commit suicide in your apartment.”
This is a column about lists. It’s also about three things I love. Enjoy:
Ten great women with whom I’d really like to have dinner with next Friday:
1. Scarlett Johansson (actress), for her ass
2. Ray Eames (designer), so I can ask her what she thinks of this chair my mom gave me
3. Maria Menounous (ET on MTV), for her ankles and enthusiasm
4. Sherry Stringfield (actress), because she could probably be my sister
5. Anna from Netvideogirls (actress), because she understands me
6. Tawnee Stone (actress), because Joe Case would want to hear about it
7. Girl at the gym (some girl), because she is foine as hell and her boyfriend who benches like 290 is so much cooler than me so I’d basically just want to be like “bye”
8. Catherine the Great (empress), so I can ask her about the Ottoman Empire
9. Ella Fitzgerald (singer), for her voice
10. Patricia Ternes (grandmother), so we can go to Meijer like we used to
Ten Great restaurants where I’d really like to dine with ten great women next Friday
1. Streetside Café (Birmingham, MI): small, cozy and noisy and always full of people like your ex-girlfriend’s father or some milf that you always see at Caribou but with better hair in this light. Whitefish is excellent when available, otherwise any of the specials under 22 dollars are quite stellar.
2. La Cote Basque (Manhattan): A true society restaurant, with Dominic Dunne type figures and a cute hat check girl. Noisy and crowded despite the high prices. Bottles of wine that would bring tears to your eyes. One of those places you thought closed down after Halston died, but didn’t.
3. Steak and Ale (Boca Raton, FL only): The only place I remember eating dinner on our Florida vacations when I was little. Chicken fingers of substantial heft and quality; excellent T-bone steak and root beer to sip and spill all over your shirt.
4. Casimir (Manhattan): Alphabet city French restaurant of great importance on every single trip to New York. Cute immigrant waitresses who forget you are in their section and the second best steak tartar I’ve ever had.
5. Greek Island (Birmingham, MI): A greek salad with chicken that I could eat every single day of my life and almost do.
6. Any chowder stand at Fisherman’s wharf (San Francisco): One could do much worse than sitting by the bay with a $4 bread boule of clam chowder.
7. Lafayette Coney Island (Detroit, MI): 3-on-1 because you know how we do and basically the ultimate chick compatibility test
8. Dal Mi Coco (Rome): A rowdy family style Italian restaurant with quite possibly the best dinner for under $20 each including six glasses of wine too many.
9. Juliarette’s (Harbor Springs, MI): Best milkshakes ever and everything else is okay enough for it to be on this list.
10. Loreto (Sevilla, Spain): Not the real name of the tapas bar because I can’t remember but the name of the girl you should be having tapas with in Sevilla. Tiered step seats, packed with hot young Spaniards with their cell phones going off as they yell their orders to the bartender and everyone making out or just nearly about to. Meatballs and almond sauce, chickpeas and spinach, et cetera. It’s not even dark out and I’m drunk.
Ten Great cars for taking ten great women to dinner in ten great restaurants next Friday
1. Ferrari 456M
2. Porsche 956 – Rothmans-spec Le Mans winner
3. Audi Steppenwolf
4. Audi RS4
5. Subaru 22B
6. Cadillac Escalade EXT biotch
7. Mazda 787B
8. Corvette C5-R
9. BMW 645i
10. Lamborghini Islero
I would suggest any combination of the above, immediately. Thanks for reading.
